I’m Going to be a Pushy Bad-Listening Mom

My friend got married yesterday in LA. Weeks before, I got into crazy planning mode and asked her loads of questions.

“Do you have a dress yet?” (Her answer was no. I almost went out to start looking for her).

“Are you going to get your hair and make-up done?” (Her answer: I might go to the salon just to get a blow out). “Why don’t you call Veronica my MUA? That will be better. She’ll come to you. Yup, that’s best so you aren’t running around on the day of.”

“Do you have a florist?” (Her answer: No, I’m just planning to get Mason jars and fill them with baby’s breath and other greenery from the grocery store.) My response: *cringe. “Oh, ok… Do you want a bouquet?” (She laughs. No I don’t think so).

The only thing she told me she could use my help with were picking up extra candles, which I immediately did. She probably just made that up to make me shut up and go away.

She wanted to keep things simple. She told me that several times from the beginning. They weren’t even calling it a wedding – it was a “Union Ceremony.” I knew this. And yet I still called my florist friend Nicole that evening and told her I’d like to order a bouquet for my friend’s wedding.

“Here’s your bouquet!” Muahaha.

GAH! Then it hit me. If I ever become a mom I’m going to be one of those PUSHY BAD-LISTENING moms who imposes my way onto my kids! “Do it this way. This way is best.”

Ughhhhhhhhhhh.

Of course I understand when moms do these things they are simply trying to help (as was I). But just because I work in the wedding industry doesn’t mean I know what would be best for her wedding. I’ll catch myself quicker next time to make sure I’m listening and truly being helpful versus imposing. Remember: it’s not my life, and it’s not my day (I even wrote a blog post specifically about that here).

In the end, the decor looked extra preTTAY for her wedding – ahem, I mean “Union” – and she was happy with how everything turned out <—The most important thing!

The bouquet looks nice, no? Lol.

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Christine Chang
Christine Chang is a Destination Wedding & Lifestyle Photographer based in Los Angeles.
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